Sometimes, it is all so overwhelming…the therapies, the driving all over town, the strict schedule, the constant attention on what your child is not achieving or should be working on, determining if the therapies are helping or possibly hurting your child’s progress, and watching your child struggle at most everything he/she does. Also, there is the constant worry “Is it all too much or do you need to incorporate more?” Today was one of those days where wham..I was just whacked in the face with the weight of it all. One factor is probably that it is the end of year where everyone seems like they are so ready for the school year to be over. Some of the teachers’ attitudes seem to be on the less positive side, somewhat distracted, and some flat out do not seem like they want to be involved in my child’s life right now. Maybe I am just in the same boat as those teachers and I just want out. I want a change. The end of CB’s current school year is less than a month away as well as our drive to another town 30 minutes away, 4x a week. He will also stop his PT as she is located in the nearby town, as well.
I also just feel like I don’t want to hear another therapist or teacher telling me what CB is not able to do that he should be able to or what we should be working on to help him speak better, throw correctly, walk up/down stairs appropriately, act more appropriately, …I am just so tired. Tired of thinking minutely about every little thing my son says, eats, and everything he does. He has come so far and he continues to grow and progress, but sometimes I just want to not have to worry and overthink everything we are doing and he is doing. I want to not have to go to therapy for everything and for him to just once to be able to acquire a skill easily and for CB’s little brother to not understand what we are requesting before CB does. I understand everyone has their challenges. Regardless of how it may seem, everyone has struggles and difficult times in their life.
Another factor is also that this summer, we will take about 3.5 weeks off – no therapies, no school, no sports activities. Yay! We will visit family and then stay in another home in another state for 2 weeks. I think I really need this to recharge and start everything up again feeling refreshed and ready to take it all on again.